Monthly Archives: August 2011

Regret Nothing

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um-083011-emailRegret starts with statements like, “If only …”.

Well-wishers will tell you that you wouldn’t be who you are today unless exactly what happened happened.

Well I’m not too sure about that!

Perhaps the truth is closer to you couldn’t have done anything different from what you did. As soon as the choice was made, you can’t pretend that you could have chosen something else.

Life is like a horse race; you can’t go back to the window, and tell the bookie you actually wanted to bet on a different horse!

You can only guess at what you’d be today if your life would have unfolded differently. So you may as well regret nothing, and focus on what’s possible now.

Maybe you don’t regret the far past, and have come to terms with what’s happened in your life. You may even be mildly addicted to phrases like what’s done is done or it is what it is.

Hug Break!

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um-082311-emailThou shall take hug breaks, should be the 12th commandment, right after the 11th commandment, There shall be breakdowns!

Imagine you’re in the middle of a huge confrontation and someone yells out HUG BREAK, and the action stops, and everyone hugs.

You can stop laughing now. It works.

Early in my marriage, during an argument with my husband, he looked at me and said, hug break. It made me laugh and ended in a warm embrace that allowed us to look at what we were arguing about in a different way. The content of the argument could be and was (whatever it was … who remembers?) resolved.

The hug was the background conversation that said I love you. I care about you.

I’ve never had the chutzpah to actually call for a hug break in a business meeting, but the thought has crossed my mind. And when it does, I start smiling and listening more attentively and creatively.

Learn To Be Present

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um-081711-emailIt seems that it would be impossible to be anything but present.

However, we have an amazing capacity to be distracted.

When you bring your full focus to whatever is happening now, a phone call, an interruption, an email, a report, or a child’s question; you stop being distracted and are present to be with the child, and answer the question. Or finish the report, deal with the interruption, or listen to a conversation without answering email at the same time.

And you can do all of that without adding anything to the moment like annoyance perpetrated by thinking this shouldn’t be happening.

Instead of putting off the moment, you’re being present with the moment.

I have to remind myself to stay present. It’s a practice that improves my ability to be where I am. And although it sounds silly even to my ears to say we need to practice being present, we do!

Decide To Play

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um-080911-emailHave you ever been aggravated because your mate won’t make a decision? How about your boss or a co-worker?

And no matter how much you prod and poke they want you to make the decision. Or maybe you are the one that hesitates on deciding.

There is power in deciding because it moves you from inaction to action.

Why hesitate? Well, perhaps you’ll have more information when you wait. So where is the balance?

In life, not everything goes right or wrong immediately; you have to stay focused so you can watch the trajectory of your decision to make sure it lands you, and everyone else involved, where you want to go.

Take a moment and think about the following questions. Do you:

  1. Focus on one data point to the exclusion of an overall strategy?
  2. Waffle on the objective that is guiding your decisions?


Posted on by
um-080211-emailI fell off a curb.

Done in by 6 inches of concrete.

On the ground surrounded by emergency workers I wondered what happened. A split second before, I was walking briskly towards a trash can to deposit refuse from my car, before I went for a run along a beach path that is both familiar and routine.

I didn’t trip or fall gracefully. It was blunt, head smacking, bruised ribs, and ankle fracturing! A momentary lapse of awareness, and the ER Dr. said, “No running for 6 weeks.”

So while I was waiting for the walking cast that I’m to wear for the next 6 weeks, the following ways not to fall off a curb danced through my head with no restraining casts on their unique ideas.

  1. Pay attention to where your feet are taking you. Steps, curbs, paths, twists or turns, your attention shouldn’t be so far ahead of you that you neglect where you are.