I was presenting on the topic of bringing fulfillment to each day to a cancer awareness group, and it became clear that you manage change by managing your choices.
Whether the change is inside your control or outside your control, whether it’s inner directed by what you want, or outer driven by a surprising change in your circumstances; you remain at choice in your thoughts, words, and actions. You are choosing your response.
When faced with a change, you can complain. In fact many people do! I was working with a person who was doing just that! At some point I asked, “What is your request?” And do you know how she answered?
She kept complaining!
I’m patient. After listening a little longer, I asked again, “What is your request?” At that point, she stopped, and said, “I don’t know.” I asked her to think about it.
In order to answer that question, she would have to decide what she wanted, and consider what would bring fulfillment to the choices she was making. She did choose to make a request, and actually was able to not only achieve her goal, but also to give up any story about being a victim of circumstances. She slowly realized that:
Change brings choices with it.
When the moment of response comes, you’re faced with a decision. The question is can you slow down the process to consider fulfillment in the making of your choices, and move away from the pressure of reacting in the moment, in order to think through what’s possible? How do you slow down the moment? Stop reacting.
Usually you meet change with excitement when reality matches what you want or disappointment when it doesn’t. So ask yourself how you react in the moment as a routine way of dealing with change. Remember, you’re in charge. No one is making you respond in a certain way. Bring awareness to what drives your reaction, and you will discover a deeper sense of who you are, and what you’re capable of achieving.
Give yourself the time to manage change in the moment of choice by making decisions that consider, up front and personal, both aspects of fulfillment:
1. Achieving a desired outcome, and
2. Being happy with the choices you’re making
So here are some questions to consider this week.
1. What changes do you want to make that you’ve been putting off to some future when you have the time or inclination? Instead of waiting, consider that the choice, a fulfilling decision and course of action, is yours to make now.
2. What changes are being driven by outer forces? Consider that you can look into getting information, taking accountability, and asking for help. Then you remove the 3 blocks to fulfillment: Pretending that you already know, can’t make a mistake, or have to appear strong by never asking for help. Instead ask for what you need.
3. How can you influence a change whether it’s inner directed or outer driven? Look into what’s possible on a continuing basis. Then new choices are not obscured by the denial of what’s possible. What at first may seem insurmountable may reveal ideas and options you haven’t considered … yet.
Face any change with fulfillment in mind. As you explore choices, ask yourself what that particular choice will fulfill, and how it will sustain your happiness or ease your suffering.
Let me hear what changes you’re facing today, and the choices you’re making.
My love goes with you as you work with this Uplifting Moment.