This is also the time of year when secret recipes are handed down from generation to generation. In my family it was the secret recipe for stuffing! But the secret recipe I’m handing down to my children is a delicious recipe for dealing with complaints.
The first step in the recipe is to put the complaint on a cutting board like an onion, and peel back the layers until a hidden request is unveiled. This could make you cry! But if you run it under the cold water of introspection, tears often turn into surprise.
If you look, you’ll find that the core of a frequent complaint is a persistent desire that’s not being fulfilled. You unveil the longing inside, and see it for what it is … a call to action.
The surprise is recognizing that up until now you’ve said no to this call. Before you dismiss whatever it is as not possible, ask yourself, “What if I did something about it?”
When you unveil the request inside the complaint, you can decide whether you’re committed to do something about it or not. If you are, you make a plan, and take the first step. If you’re not, you can be honest with yourself and just say no, not now. But if the complaint stays, and keeps nudging you to do something, then your inner voice is saying now. Listen.
The beauty of this recipe is it works for complaints, big and little. If you’re sitting in traffic you can request that the traffic move. That may not happen. But you can request that you breathe and relax. You might also think about different times you can get on the road or go shopping that are less congested on the highway, and in the stores. There’s always shopping online!
The main ingredient of this secret recipe is the unswerving commitment to action. First you determine what you want, and what you can do, and if nothing is available to move you forward in the direction you want to go, accept what is with grace. Pay attention. Another opportunity will reveal itself.
When you say no to one of your own requests or the world says no to you, you smile with awareness that no one is thwarting you. You are making choices. Others are making choices.
Let’s make this a complaint free holiday season. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and think about the secret recipe you can pass around the dinner table that brings more awareness in the world.
Awareness itself is the teacher.
My love goes with you as you work with this Uplifting Moment.