Monthly Archives: October 2010


Posted on by
um-102610a-emailLife can often intrude in our best-laid plans no matter how carefully we make them.

Several months ago I made plans to run in a half marathon in Santa Barbara. So what could possibly go wrong? Two things!

• Unanticipated travel and work
• Less time to train no matter how early I got up

I quickly realized that the matter—less time/more work—wasn’t bigger than my mind’s ability to deal with what shows up, when it shows up. If I take the case that the matter lives inside of me rather than the other way around, then I have a situation to deal with, but the situation doesn’t have me. read more


Posted on by
um-101910-emailDo you live by the anthem, don’t sweat the small stuff? Do you take it even further by saying, and it’s all small stuff?

Hmmm, I’m not so sure about that! Some of my major regrets are when I didn’t sweat the small stuff, and just figured it would all turn out OK. I’m not advocating becoming a pessimist. Optimism has proven to be a healthy point of view that allows you to engage with what’s possible. I am suggesting that you can be both an optimist, and sweat the small stuff.

Here are some statements that indicate you may be ignoring the small stuff.
It will be fine.
Time is running out, you need to act now.
Don’t over analyze it.
It’s just a small variance.
They don’t need to know.
Just ask for forgiveness instead of permission. read more


Posted on by
um-101210-emailIf you’re around children for any period of time you’ll notice that they ask the one word question, why, often and intensely, as if it is an inalienable right.

They have a learner’s mind.

It’s too bad, and even sad, that we get our learner’s mind trained out of us as our parents get annoyed with questions, and then later in life when other people in authority … teachers, bosses, and mates … resist being questioned, and want answers instead. And in the rush to end the questioning, the answer is often an excuse.

Now fast forward to being effective on the job, in communication, and relationships. I notice that too often when we talk about results it centers on getting to a quick answer, instead of looking into the unarguable facts. read more


Posted on by
um-100510-emailThe Antidote For Problems That Persist

A friend of mine reminded me of something I said 20 years ago that still manages to inform her practice of peace today. I remember it well. I was driving along listening to the radio, and a song came on that triggered a memory that was painful, and I started to feel the regret and emotion of that moment in time as if it was happening again. And then for whatever reason, I reached out and changed the channel! read more